The Lord Himself Will Make a House For You
Sometimes, there are just words in life that are hard for me to digest. Like house. Or home. Isn’t it funny how when you want something so badly, you almost refuse it when God begins to show you He desires to give it to you? I am so that way in my prayer life. I will pray for something what seems to be forever. Then, He opens that very door and I am so hesitant to step in. That’s how I am with the words house and home. There is just something so precious about a home to me. More than precious, I am reminded so much of holiness when I think of a home. A special place. My own special place for family, for people to come and celebrate, mourn, eat, laugh, cry. A habitat. A place for things to grow, change. The idea of home has had me in tears pretty often lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown so accustomed to not having one.
Now, calm down, don’t worry, I am not confessing that I am homeless. Although in a sense I have felt that in many ways, no place to call my own. Let me back up. I have lived in five different places in three years. More than that, I have been traveling a majority of the last seven years as well. I’ve done missions, I’ve moved locations, and I’ve done traveling music ministry. However, being in a situation where my car broke down, I had no room anywhere and no job, that was a new experience in January of this year. I felt homeless for awhile. I was sleeping on couches, working a seven to three job, waking up each day wondering ” Lord, when will I have a place to call my own? ” Just a little highlight reel of me and the raw emotions of wanting a home. Here is the thing though. I don’t want a home to merely fill with things. I actually have a dream in my heart to have a home. I imagine my doors being open to the lost and confused, to family in times of despair, my own blessing place to make room to bless others. I want to clean it. I want to cook in it. I want to host bible studies. I want to be cozy in it with my future husband and kids. It gives me great joy to help others in their homes. I’ll put it to you like this. Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve lived in five different places just in the past few years. During these times, I’ve kind of become an expert on arranging my life around others. Normally, I move in with people and they are adjusted to simply them. Typically, they will tell me ” you can sleep here, just find a place to put your things, we don’t have a whole lot of room, but you can definitely stay here.”
I’ve heard phrases like this so often. This isn’t to say it’s a bad thing! It’s completely normal and I’m blessed! However, because I’m so used to this I begin to think God doesn’t make room for me. I have to knock down doors if I need something and force my way into people’s lives. These thoughts often cross my mind ” I’m an intruder. I’m a burden. This isn’t my home. ” Right now, the place I currently have been living in is actually being renovated. I have been without a bed and room for about two and a half weeks again. It’s brought back a lot of mixed emotions. Once again, I find myself on a couch, dreaming of my own bed, which isn’t truly owned by me. It’s temporary. Get what I’m trying to say? I have been in a season where I simply know and come to terms with the fact that I need people’s help and even home. I’ve even had friends joke recently and say things like “I never know what you mean you say you’re going home.” I know they don’t mean harm by it, but each time I think to myself “Yes, I know”. And it’s quite sad sometimes to feel this way but I am thankful that I have loving friends to help me out.
Home is huge for me. It’s a place set apart for worship. It’s where I want to be. And the Lord has really been showing me lately, that no matter where I am, where I find myself, physically and spiritually, that I need to constantly come home. I need to come into the habitat of holiness and just dwell.
John 14: 2 says ” In my Father’s house there are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go and prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to myself, that where I am, you may be also.”
This is what He has been telling me. He has been telling me to come into the place where He is my home. Not only that, but He has been showing me that although I think I’m an expert at arranging my life to fit with others, He is actually preparing me to serve others now in the same way I will serve when I have my own home, by making room for them. There is just something so humbling about someone ” making room for you.” And how beautiful that the Father has made room for us! A Holy, divine Father sent Himself and even now prepares a place for us! Recently, as I was worshiping the Lord he told me” I have made room for you.” This genuinely healed something in me, to know and believe that God sets things up for me, not only in heaven but on earth. He makes room for me, for you, for all of us. That’s my food for thought.