HE IS THE “ENOUGH”
HE IS THE “ENOUGH”
Hello everyone! How good is this book? I am in complete awe over every word I am reading. I am having trouble doing this blog in my own words because I highlight almost every line in the chapter. I want to just copy and paste so we can read it again.
“But my heart felt like a shoreline that had been washed away by the tides of broken relationships, insecurities, and shattered dreams.”
This was the first sentence that shook me to the core with memories of when I was in my darkest moments.
Most people don’t know this about me, but I use to suffer from mild depression. I don’t think it was always mild, I think on some days it would have been considered chronic because of how dark some of my thoughts were (I don’t want to live anymore, my kids would be better off without me, I don’t think anyone would actually miss me if I were gone).
Yes, I have had those thoughts and taken serious consideration of the outcomes of each one. When I look back I can think of one common reason why it would occur. I was usually hurting or felt abandoned by people that I loved. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of love. I depended on people to fill my emptiness, I depended on people to be ENOUGH!
“All you have ever wanted is unconditional love. Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. I doubted there could be. Then I heard a whisper in my soul that spoke to my heart with such clarity I knew it wasn’t me talking. You’ve been trying to earn your value in everything you’ve done. But you will never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you are looking for.”
Whoa!! Did y’all read that with the same gut wrenching excitement that I did? I feel as if those were the exact words I once heard. The words that pulled me out of that dark hole that was swallowing me. When I heard those words I saw all that I needed to see with such clarity that I had never had before. My friends and family were not hurting me by not loving me in the same ways I loved them. My husband was not showing me less love than he actually had for me. They were not meant to be the ones to fulfill my every need, they were not meant to be the ones to always make me happy. They were not meant to be my ENOUGH!
“I had been looking for love that could not be taken away. Love that wouldn’t fail, even when I did. Love I didn’t have to earn. Love I could never lose. I didn’t know what to do.”
I sat in misery not knowing why I couldn’t be loved back the way I loved. What was I doing wrong? What’s the catch here. What did I need to do? who did I need to be to receive that unfailing love?
Pray, that’s all I needed to do! I don’t think I had ever prayed so intently as I did during this time. I prayed for God to show me, to heal my brokenness, to fill me…. Finally, when I said those words “to fill me”, I knew, I saw it flash before my eyes. That was the prayer I needed to pray all along. That is what it would take for me to feel that unconditional and never failing love! I needed Him to be my ENOUGH!
Proverbs 19:22 says, “What a [woman] desires is unfailing love.”
“The word ‘desire’ comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means to greatly long for, deeply desire, or crave. Did you know that unfailing love is mentioned thirty-two times in the Bible, and not once is it attributed to a person? It is only attributed to God.”
“By changing our focus to the Giver, we can then begin to look to Him for our identity and purpose. By worshiping Him for who He is, we remember how valuable we are in Him and to Him.”
I now know my value and my worth because I have realized He was and will always be my ENOUGH!