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Discipline Sucks For A Second

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I wonder often if anyone can truly enjoy correction. I’ve caught myself many times asking the Lord to help me be teachable. Honestly, One of my biggest struggles has been submission, healthy submission to authority. I’ve always kinda had this negative association with authority. I ” do what I’m told”, but not without voicing my opinion about it.  Having gone through Bible college, I sorta hoped that I would no longer despise correction. I never truly understood why, but I just simply hated being told I did something wrong.

Something has been changing in me lately though. I have noticed that people who truly love me, correct me sometimes. However, with the knowledge of their love for me, I tend to still despise their correction, despise their wisdom. Because of this, I have been feeling led to repent about this. ” How could I despise correction? Why am I so hot headed? Why can’t I just listen and be sweet like a good Christian woman? Why do I struggle so often with submission? ” Recently, a good friend of mine texted me, Sharing how she has been dealing with the same thing. She confessed that a big part of her issue with authority connected to a broken idea of correction growing up. As she and I were talking, the Lord showed me something and is continuing to speak to me about this. He reminded me that growing up, when I was corrected, it was often done from a place of anger. I always felt like if I was being corrected, my actual self was a mistake. I actually remember feeling like no matter how hard I tried to impress my parents, my mistakes proved that I was incorrect, not my behaviors, but who I was. I thought that I was just disappointing. Not only that, but I see now that I even felt disappointed with myself, that I did something that called for correction. If I would just be good enough, I wouldn’t be corrected, right? I wouldn’t need rebuke… right?

The same friend I mentioned previously encouraged me to read Hebrews 12. Even though I’ve read and memorized these particular passages of Scripture at different points in my life, they have been reading me!

Hebrews 12:5-12
” and have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? My son, do not  regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom His father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.”

As I sit typing this blog, my heart is so full of the realization of God’s kindness towards me. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the fact that God loves me so much that He corrects me. He corrects me in love. He uses my authority to do so. However, my earthly parents will fail me. That is a given. I may have been temporarily disciplined in anger, but that doesn’t mean that I should despise correction. Discipline was never meant to make me feel unworthy or not enough. It was always meant to bring me closer to His heart, His character, and to the understanding that I need His voice. Know this. The Lord is a perfect Father.

What the enemy used for evil, He will use for your good! If you struggle with authority, pray this.
” Father, forgive me for the belief that You are cruel simply because others have been cruel to me. Shine your light on this area of my heart. Help me to receive correction from you, help me to receive it as love. Thank you for your life breathing correction.”

-Amber

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